The Journey Home (or So I Thought) & Another Gift
The accident that changed the course of my life took place in a resort about 3 hrs. by air from where I live. As a new widow, I was naturally anxious to be close to family and friends. Even the other injured survivors were air-ambulanced home within a day or so of the accident. Mind you, I was clueless as to what had happened to me. I knew my husband had died and that I was injured. I certainly didn’t realize the extent of my injuries or the need for further hospitalization. I don't want bore anyone with medical details. I’ll just say that I had typical trauma injuries, including a totally severed clavicle and about a dozen fractured vertebrae. The fracture that was the most troublesome early on was a "burst fracture" of one of my lumbar vertebrae. Apparently, having this type of fracture isn't considered to be a medically sound condition for travel. So, I had to stay for spinal fusion surgery prior to going home. (The severed clavicle also would prove to be particularly troublesome, but that's another story - or in this case - another posting topic.)
Finally, I was delivered by air ambulance to a city near my home about 5 days after the accident. I begged to be taken to my home, but there was yet another ambulance standing by ready to take me to yet another hospital for further treatment.
As discussed in my first posting, I never consciously experienced the accident. More mysteriously, I did not feel the pain from the accident injuries. I’ve been told that many of these injuries are normally quite painful. In addition, I was told that it would not be possible to move my broken parts in the manner that I did. Only reviewing the X-rays convinced my chiropractor that these fractures were real. This was not a totally free ride, however. I did feel lots of pain from surgeries and other post-accident treatments and complications. This indicates that I wasn’t unable to feel pain altogether. Rather, it was some kind of neurological disconnect solely related to the accident injuries. Feel free to interpret this as some sort of neurotic or dissociative reaction. As a psychology major, I learned about hysterical illness producing symptoms that could not possibly have a physical cause. In my case there was a profusion of physical causes that failed to produce the expected symptoms. Whatever the reason, I consider the “disconnect” to be yet another unexpected and very welcome gift.
Also, who knows? My first posting described a “place” of love and comfort in which I remember being during the hour or more that it took to be rescued from the SUV that was flattened by a bus. I refer to that as the “first intervention”. Of course, I’ve read - with some skepticism - about “near death” experiences. If the first intervention was something like that, maybe there was more about that time I don’t remember. I’m really speculating here, but perhaps I was given a choice about returning to my life here. If so, I would have been more motivated to do so with a promise of help with the inevitable suffering to come. I refer to this help (the “pain disconnect”) as the second intervention.
I’m not trying to convince anyone else of anything about my experiences. MY mind, however, was wide open after these interventions and others to come. Yes, there are more to come.
Finally, I was delivered by air ambulance to a city near my home about 5 days after the accident. I begged to be taken to my home, but there was yet another ambulance standing by ready to take me to yet another hospital for further treatment.
As discussed in my first posting, I never consciously experienced the accident. More mysteriously, I did not feel the pain from the accident injuries. I’ve been told that many of these injuries are normally quite painful. In addition, I was told that it would not be possible to move my broken parts in the manner that I did. Only reviewing the X-rays convinced my chiropractor that these fractures were real. This was not a totally free ride, however. I did feel lots of pain from surgeries and other post-accident treatments and complications. This indicates that I wasn’t unable to feel pain altogether. Rather, it was some kind of neurological disconnect solely related to the accident injuries. Feel free to interpret this as some sort of neurotic or dissociative reaction. As a psychology major, I learned about hysterical illness producing symptoms that could not possibly have a physical cause. In my case there was a profusion of physical causes that failed to produce the expected symptoms. Whatever the reason, I consider the “disconnect” to be yet another unexpected and very welcome gift.
Also, who knows? My first posting described a “place” of love and comfort in which I remember being during the hour or more that it took to be rescued from the SUV that was flattened by a bus. I refer to that as the “first intervention”. Of course, I’ve read - with some skepticism - about “near death” experiences. If the first intervention was something like that, maybe there was more about that time I don’t remember. I’m really speculating here, but perhaps I was given a choice about returning to my life here. If so, I would have been more motivated to do so with a promise of help with the inevitable suffering to come. I refer to this help (the “pain disconnect”) as the second intervention.
I’m not trying to convince anyone else of anything about my experiences. MY mind, however, was wide open after these interventions and others to come. Yes, there are more to come.
posted by Lotus @ 5:21 PM
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